


from me to you

by bbyhjuns



Category: Cravity (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:56:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28754754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbyhjuns/pseuds/bbyhjuns
Summary: wonjin finally opens the letter jungmo left a year ago, in which the latter specifically told him not to open till a year later.
Relationships: Ham Wonjin/Koo Jungmo
Kudos: 46





	from me to you

**Author's Note:**

> first moguham fic here and i'm sorry it had to be an angst T__T

the light from the candle luminates onto wonjin's face as the male admires how the flame flicker from left to right, as though dancing to the soft classical music playing in the background. he hums slightly to the melody, then lets out a small scoff at himself when he realises the situation he is in.

in front of him sat a candlelit dinner he had painstakingly prepared just an hour before. the food, now cold and stale, is left the way it was plated. 

wonjin's eyes fall from the barely touched dish in front of him then to the empty seat across of him. he takes in a deep breath and smiles to himself to lift his own mood up.

he then stands up from his seat and makes his way to the bedroom. now squatting in front of his bedside drawer, his hands fumble through the endless cluster of things. he finally stops when he finds the thing he has been looking for. with two hands, he observes the brown envelope and traces his finger around its rectangular outline. 

_**Open on this day, one year later** _

wonjin mouths the words as his eyes scheme the hand-decorated envelope. for the past year, he had tried so hard to resist the urge to tear the envelope open to read its content. of course, with jungmo's constant nagging and whining, wonjin managed to hold out till today.

today was finally one year later.

 ** _p.s i will lock you out of the room if you open this before said time >:[_**

on the bottom of the envelope wrote, scribbled in jungmo's handwriting. wonjin let out a small chuckle at these words. though jungmo was older, it always seemed like he was the kid in the relationship. in wonjin's eyes, at least, the age difference meant nothing for the two always acted like it didn't exist.

_"no peeking, i'm almost ready!" wonjin hears jungmo call out from the living room. he has his hands clasped together, eyes closed as he sat excitedly on their bed, unsure of what to expect._

_he then whines, "you're taking so long, can i come out now?" in which jungmo bickered back in return, "15 minutes isn't long you brat"_

_wonjin lets out an exaggerated and astonished gasp, loud enough for jungmo to hear before shouting back, "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME? i don't care i'm coming out NOW"_

_at that instance, jungmo runs to the doorstep of the bedroom just in time to stop wonjin, his arms stretched out in attempt to cover what was happening outside from him. wonjin, feeling mischievous, made an attempt to push down jungmo's arms to peek, but failed as the older engulfed him in a hug immediately._

_"quit acting like a brat and close your eyes" jungmo exclaims, taking wonjin's hand in his now. wonjin gasps again but doesn't retaliate as he closes his eyes, "stop calling me that"_

_jungmo then slowly guides wonjin out of the room and sits him down onto the couch. he smiles proudly at wonjin then tightens his grasp on his hand._

_"okay, you can open them now"_

_wonjin smiles excitedly and takes a deep breath and opens his eyes slowly._

_before his very eyes laid a gallery of the two's pictures, all put up by jungmo himself one by one amidst the fairy lights. there is a cake sitting on the table in front of him, and beside the cake laid a stack of letters._

_wonjin stands up, starry-eyed as he observes his surroundings, indulging in the beauty of everything. he moves closer to observe the polaroids dangling by the walls and chuckles when he notices that on each polaroid were doodles made by jungmo himself._

_then, he feels a pair of arms snake around his torso and he feels a kiss to his neck, sending chills down his back._

_"happy 4th year anniversary, my favourite brat" jungmo softly whispers, his arms clinging on tightly to the younger._

_wonjin, unable to hide his growing smile, lets loose in jungmo's arms and he caresses his hand before lifting it up to give a kiss on it, "happy anniversary, and thank you for this"_

_he then turns around to give a quick peck jungmo's lips before breaking away playfully from his arms and making his way back to the couch._

_"what's this?" wonjin points curiously to the stack of letters, tied up by a string. jungmo then takes a sit down beside him and passes it to him, "for you, open them according to how they are labelled"_

_wonjin raises his eyebrows and schemes through the many envelopes, a few labelled _ **Open when you're sad, Open when you miss me**_ then lets out a laugh as he makes a face at jungmo. _

_"i never thought i'd see you do this for me ever... didn't you call these kind of things corny?" wonjin teased, but heart filled up with warmth at the thought of how much time and effort jungmo must have spent doing all of these._

_jungmo, now red with embarrassment, tries to break out of his fluster and shakes his head, "times change... and people change... so here we are..."_

_wonjin laughs even more at his reaction, causing jungmo to whine._

_but wonjin then takes jungmo into his own arms and snuggles his head close to his chest as he smiles widely, "thank you, forever and always", in which jungmo gladly returns the embrace._

_"oh right, the last letter is not to be opened till a year later so make sure you don't open it" jungmo then says, pointing to the last letter in the stack. wonjin then bobs his head to the side curiously, playfully replying, "and what if i do?"_

_jungmo pouts and pulls wonjin's cheek, "i will be very upset"_

_wonjin struggles to push the older's hand away and sighs in defeats as he pouts in return, "okay then. then this letter better be worth the wait"_

_jungmo then gives a smug smirk as he pats wonjin's head, "oh yes it will"_

wonjin smiles as he recalls the occasion last year. jungmo had always been one with surprises and gifts. though he wasn't very artistically gifted, the fact that jungmo always gave his best in gifting wonjin handmade items filled his heart with an indescribable happiness. 

he notices the doodles of what seemed like roses and flowers on the envelope in his hand and chuckles when he realises that they don't resemble flowers at all.

taking in a deep breath, wonjin then carefully tears open the seal. 

in it laid a letter, a card with an unfamiliar address on it and a photo of when the two were in high school; the place where they both first met.

wonjin's heartstrings tug at the sight of the old photo as he lifts it up to examine it. jungmo had his big glasses on while wonjin had his fringe almost covering his eyes. jungmo has his arm slung around the younger's shoulder as the two posed happily for the camera. wonjin still remembers what happened that day:

_"god why is this school filled with couples. gross" wonjin lets out a frustrated groan as he walks by the hallway to see a couple making out in the corner._

_his close friend, hyeongjun, lets out a laugh and replies, "just say you're sad that you're single and leave"_

_wonjin rolls his eyes at that comment, then hits hyeongjun on the shoulder. jungmo, who was by his side, chuckles and pulls wonjin to his side and shakes his head at hyeongjun, "hey you can't say that. that's offensive to me too"_

_wonjin high fives the older and sticks his tongue out at hyeongjun._

_"right. just because you have a boyfriend now you think you can bully us?"_

_hyeongjun then pauses to look disgustingly at the two and shakes his head and jokes, "why am i best friends with two single people... why not both of you just date then"._

_at that instance, though wonjin doesn't notice, jungmo's face turns red as he tried to hide his face. he side-eyes hyeongjun as he curses him internally. the younger, well knowing jungmo's feelings for wonjin, must have said that on purpose._

_but wonjin simply shrugs and nods his head, "yeah we might end up just marrying each other if no one wants us, right?" he then nudges jungmo._

_the older, flustered, tries to play it cool and nods his head, agreeing with wonjin. "yeah, sadly... marriage pact?"_

_wonjin nods his head and high fives him again._

_hyeongjun tries not to laugh at the situation, but simply cooed at the two before taking out his phone, "aw, come on then let me help yall take an early wedding photo now"_

_wonjin then pulls jungmo close to him as he wraps his arm by his waist, jungmo slinging his arm around his shoulder in return._

_with hyeongjun's cue, the photo was then taken and it then became a vital part of the two's relationship - with them always bringing up how such a joke actually led them to becoming real lovers._

_though unexpected, the two were glad that they found piece of each other they never once did notice when they were best friends._

wonjin puts down the photograph, then takes the time to examine the card and the address on it. though after thinking hard and long, the unfamiliar name did not ring a bell at all in his mind. he then gives up and finally lifts up the letter to start reading.

**_To my beloved (gross) Wonjin,_ **

**_First of all, congratulations to you for waiting a year to finally read this! Must have been though, huh? Knowing your impatient ass...... i'm proud of you hehe. Omg... but if you're reading this before "a year later" then shame on you!!! i'm locking you out of the room for real >:(_ **

wonjin chuckles once again at the older's antics as he continues reading.

_**So... you must be wondering what this is all about, right? This is gonna be long so be prepared to sit through a world of sappy words (not sorry <3). But before that, i just want to say:** _

_**Happy 5th anniversary! Another year has passed yet again and everyday i am thankful that i met you and that i have you by my side. Many things must have happened this past year, right? But i hope you're even more happy now than you were last year, and i'm confident that you are (because i'm still by your side making you happy ;))))** _

wonjin pauses and he feels his heart sink. he doesn't know whether or not to start crying or laughing.

he then bites his lip and clenches his fist as he says softly to himself, "yeah... surely a lot has happened the past year"

he rereads the word "happy" and then his eyes drop as he closes them to keep the tears in.

"i wish i was happy, jungmo"

he pauses then sighs as he says the next few words, "you're not by my side anymore"

_wonjin's world becomes a blur and everything becomes hazy - his vision, his mind, his emotions._

_he stands there stunned and frozen, unable to process everything that the doctor had just told him._

_hyeongjun, by his side, tries to wrap his arm around wonjin to calm him down, but the latter did not react at all._

_the tears had now already dried up, and all the grief, worry and pain he felt hours before all drowned down into numbness. he couldn't feel anything at all._

_his mind and body was now just an empty shell, fragile and hollow._

_"wonjin... please..." hyeongjun, calls out again, his own voice trembling from all the crying too._

_wonjin finally snaps out of his bubble as he replies in denial, "no... it can't be true... they can still save him, right? hyeongjun, he's still fighting, right?"_

_hyeongjun, now even more shaken up at the sight of his best friend, bites his lips as he squeezes wonjin's shoulder tightly, "wonjin... i'm sorry... you heard him, jungmo's in a better place now... and i know it's hard-"_

_wonjin immediately cuts him off as he feels the familiar gush of emotions take over once again, as he balls his eyes out, "a better place is when he's here with me, hyeongjun. what am i supposed to do now?"_

_hyeongjun doesn't say anything but he lets wonjin cry it out._

_"what am i supposed to do now, jungmo? why did you leave me when you said you would stay by my side for life?" wonjin continues crying out._

_hyeongjun turns away from wonjin as his own tears stream down his face, unable to watch his own best friend lose himself. he had just lost his other best friend and yet now he couldn't do anything to help his other - he felt the worst._

_"jungmo... i miss you already" wonjin barely even manages to push the words out from his mouth in between his sobs, as he has his hands clenched into fists._

_just five hours back he was joking around with jungmo, not wanting to give him a goodbye kiss before he left the house for he was going to come back home a few hours later, asking for more kisses._

_yet the worst had to happened and how wonjin wished that he had given jungmo that kiss._

_at least there could have been a last kiss before everything turned into hell._

wonjin feels tears welling up in his eyes, but shakes his head and purses his lips as he takes in a deep breath to comfort himself, "come on wonjin, we promised not to go there today"

he then lifts up the letter again to continue reading its content.

_**But hey... it's crazy how times flies right? This photograph was taken 8 years back... can you believe it? Which reminds me... oh how oblivious were you to my feelings back then. Hyeongjun noticed and asked me about it because i was being so obvious,, so i always wondered why you never did notice? Was it because you were truly oblivious... or were you just acting like you didn't know? You tell me babe, i really wanna know.** _

_**But nonetheless... i'm glad things worked out the way it did and that i took up the courage to ask you out (like, me??? i can't believe it either). And thank you for giving me a chance, Wonjin. Things would not have turned out this way without you.** _

wonjin smiles at these two paragraphs as he feels his heart fill up with warmth once again. 

"you're right, jungmo..."

he pauses to look at the photograph again before continuing, "i actually knew, i just acted like i didn't know"

his finger traces jungmo's face as he smiles,

"because i was waiting for you to ask me out"

_"so are you gonna kiss me already or what" wonjin asks the boy sitting opposite him, whose face is now red and burning. he continues staring at him nonchantly when deep inside, his own heart was beating too._

_"i don't get how you can be so chill about this..." jungmo replies back trying to play it cool, but his nervous tone was so obvious to wonjin._

_"come on, it'll just be a few minutes" wonjin replies back once again, almost without a thought._

_jungmo takes a nervous gulp and closes his eyes before leaning closer to wonjin. the younger, who is now leaning over the table with his own heart beating out of his chest, closes his eyes too as soon as he feels the pair of soft, delicate lips on his own._

_he feels a tingling sensation down his body, a feeling he's never had before, and the next thing he knew, his hand was caressing jungmo's cheek._

_"OKAY YOU TWO CAN STOP NOW" minhee calls from behind the camera, his own face flushing red from what he witnessed._

_"we.. don't have to retake that right...?" jungmo asks shyly, now avoiding eye contact with wonjin._

_minhee shakes his head immediately and gives a thumbs up, "yeah.. that was good"_

_hyeongjun, who was watching from the side, now makes his way over to the two and hits both of them on the back playfully, "didn't know you two were great kissers"_

_wonjin has his cheeks flushed too, but he purses his lips and replies, "shut up"_

_he continues, "we only agreed to do this because we're good friends."_

_hyeongjun cooes and thanks him in return, "yeah thank you a lot, they wouldn't let minhee be in the film himself since he's leading the project... if not i would have kissed him myself.... but thank goodness i have two very helpful best friends"_

_wonjin gives him a disgusted look as a response, then subtly looks over to jungmo, who seems to be in a daze. he hasn't said a word since the kiss._

_"hey, you okay man?" hyeongjun asks after he notices too._

_jungmo then takes a deep breath and calls out, "umm.. mind if we have some time alone? i need to talk to him about something"_

_hyeongjun then takes the cue and pulls minhee out as well._

_wonjin is now staring at jungmo, hands fiddling with one another as he swallows hard, nervous and unsure of what to expect._

_"so.. what is it?" he softly asks._

_jungmo bites his bottom lip as he has a serious look on his face before asking, "did you... feel anything just now?"_

_there is a pause. wonjin doesn't reply._

_jungmo continues, "when we kissed"_

_wonjin doesn't reply again but takes a moment to think. he then gives a small smile,_

_"and what if i say i did?"_

_jungmo looks up to him in shock, eyes widening slowly._

_"what about you, jungmo? did you feel anything?"_

_he takes a big breath in and blurts out, "of course i did, you idiot."_

_he pauses to see wonjin's reaction. when he sees the smile grow wider, he continues, "it's because i like you... or love you... i don't know whatever you wanna call it"_

_wonjin then lets out a small laugh before reaching out to hold jungmo's hand, "i like... or love you too"_

wonjin's hand raises up to his lips to touch them. till today, he can still remember the vivid sensation he felt that day - their very first kiss. and oh how badly he misses that kiss so much everyday; it's a lingering feeling he never wants to forget.

he picks up the letter again.

**_So, you must be thinking... Why am i extremely sappy this anniversary? And what am i planning this year? You see, babe, i've planned so many wonderful things for you i'm running out of ideas... So for this year: you are just getting kisses from me!!!! Flash this letter as a coupon for free kisses from Koo Jungmo ;)_ **

**_News flash!! You waited one year to open this letter just so you can get kisses <3_ **

wonjin laughs but he also feels a sudden emptiness.

"how are you gonna give me kisses when you're not here anymore?"

_**OKAY I'M KIDDING (of course)! As much as i love giving you kisses, it'd never be enough to express how much i love you. And for this anniversary, i really want to make things special.** _

_**But before that, let's take a trip down memory lane! I guess you probably remember when and how we took that photograph. It makes me smile everytime knowing that what we have right now has developed so much more than that. Thank you for making my high school life memorable, and thank you for making college life much more bearable too. The years that you have been in my life has so far been the best.** _

_**And of course, though we had some arguments and fall-outs here and there throughout these years, i'm still glad that even after all of that, you chose to stick with me. Thank you for forgiving me for all the times i was stupid, and thank you for always being willing to work things out too. You know what they say, it takes two hands to clap and i'm so so happy to have you as my other hand in this relationship so that it would work out.** _

wonjin wraps his arms around himself to feel the warm embrace and comfort - one jungmo used to always give after their arguments and fights. 

he had always been the one giving in and understanding wonjin; engulfing him in big hugs no matter how badly their arguments got. because according to jungmo's words, "i may be angry at you at the moment but i still love you, so let me hug you"

so jungmo had always took it upon himself to give wonjin a hug after every argument they had. though it puzzled wonjin at first, and at times made him even more angry, majority of the time, that very hug was all he needed to cool himself down and to think rationally. 

looking back, wonjin wonders what would have happened for all the times if jungmo didn't hug him after their fights. would he have stormed out and burst at jungmo? would they have broken up? would there have been more misunderstandings?

and because of this, wonjin feels an immense feeling of adoration take over his body. how could the person he love be so caring, sweet and affectionate? and why did he not cherish those moments fully when he could?

the emptiness then starts to get a little heavy, but he distracts his mind again.

_**And while looking back at these memories, i have come to realise that wow... we really have grown a lot, Wonjin. Not only as a couple, but as individuals. One of my biggest joys is seeing you achieve your goals and doing things that make you happy. And thank you too, for being so supportive of everything that i do (though it may be expensive :(). Because of this, we have grown so much and learnt so much.** _

wonjin smiles to himself as he remembers the day jungmo had brought back 13 guitars that one day:

_he stood there mouth gape, face in disbelief at what seemed like a pyramid of guitars sitting before his eyes. jungmo gave a sheepish smile and held both his arms out, "I CAN EXPLAIN-"_

_"you are crazy" wonjin cuts him off._

_"come on, baby... you know how much i love guitars... you agreed to let me go to the different courses so-"_

_"yeah but THIRTEEN guitars? i wasn't expecting this" wonjin cuts him off again, a look of concern over his face._

_jungmo pouts and shakes wonjin's arm lightly, "but it'll be worth it, i promise"_

_before he knew it, wonjin was already picking up two of the guitar cases as he sighed, "where do we store all of these then"_

_at that moment, a bright smile appears on jungmo's face as he leaned over to give a peck on wonjin's forehead._

_wonjin just smiles in return, but happiness taking over his heart as he watched jungmo dance in bliss. pursuing music and playing the guitar had always been an important part of jungmo's life. so seeing him being able to pursue what he had always wanted made wonjin contented enough._

his guitar is still sitting by the side of the room, left untouched. weirdly enough, the sight of it makes wonjin feel comforted at times - it's as though jungmo is still there with him. 

_**And i want to continue growing and learning with you, Wonjin. Don't you think it's fascinating how though we've known each other for so many years, we still learn new things about each other everyday? And maybe that's why... i find myself falling in love with you all over again everyday (wink ;)).** _

_**And now on to the gift.. (finally!!) you see the card with the address? Head down to the address and it will all just unfold from there... I really hope you like it.** _

_**With that, happy 5th anniversary once again, babe! I love you everyday but today i just want to say that i love you more.** _

_**\- Your beloved, handsome, amazing Jungmo ♡** _

wonjin takes the card in his hand again, but now grabs his phone as he types the address into the search bar.

_Lee's Jewellery Shop_

the shop is just 3 streets down the road, and just like before, wonjin has no recollection or whatsoever of the place in his mind. he then sighs and places the letter on the side drawer, but keeps the photograph in his pocket before grabbing his belongings and making his way to the shop.

\------

he takes in a deep breath before pulling open the door to the shop. every inch of the shop sparkles as the vast variety of jewelleries dangled and dazzled under the white lights. 

as soon as he enters, a lady greets him and asks if she could assist him in anyway.

"koo jungmo, i think he left something here? it was a year back though..." wonjin replies, then blushes in embarrassment when he realises how weird he just sounded. 

strangely, the lady does not judge him but instead asks him to wait while she headed to the counter and browsed through the laptop.

she then appeared again from behind the backstore with a paperbag and passed it to him.

with an ambiguous smile on her face, she then pointed to the bag, "would you like to see it, sir?"

wonjin hesitated for a moment, but then nodded his head before removing the small box from the bag.

his heart thumping loudly against his chest, his tears threatened not fall as soon as he realised what this could mean - it was a ring box.

he takes a deep breath before opening the box slowly. he was greeted with a bright and iridescent diamond ring, so beautiful that the rest of the jewellery in the shop looked like nothing to wonjin. he then bit his lip and didn't say a word.

"he told us he was gonna propose to you today a year back... the planning he must have done for all of these.." the lady told wonjin, a bright smile on her face.

as soon as she said that, wonjin's tears came running down and he fell to his knees, weak in his stomach. the lady, now shocked and confused, tries to comfort him, but her words of jungmo in attempt to assure him only made wonjin feel more pain and sadness.

\------

now back home and physical appearance in a mess, wonjin sits on his bed with the ring on his finger, the letter beside him and the photograph in his hand.

"so you wanted to make our marriage pact come true..." wonjin says softly, now much more calmer than before. 

he bites his lip as he choked through his next words, "but you left before you could even ask me..."

his finger touches the ring as he admires it once more again.

he then looks at the photograph, puts it close his heart and then lies back down on his bed, "we didn't even get to take a wedding photo too..."

he sighs, "i guess this highschool wedding photo hyeongjun took works then"

he then closes his eyes as he feels yet another tear drop his face. he smiles to himself and turns to look at the picture frame sitting by his side drawer - the last picture they had ever taken together.

"happy 5th anniversary, baby"

wonjin sighs again when he feels his heart ache,

"and my answer is yes"


End file.
